Pt 12 – Practicing letting go.

Dropping the beliefs that tether us.

No, I am not about to sing a rendition of Frozen don’t worry!, however, we all know how cleverly Dinsey movies place messages of real impact! Today’s newsletter does, however, follow the theme of letting it go.

Profound reflection

Do you ever have those moments in life when you hear a succinct statement and it just makes you sit up, take a breath, and just sit in it?

Hilton Barbour, marketing provocateur, and change advocate, shared this mic-drop moment with me as part of my primary research for Change Is An Inside Job:

“Often people need what ‘isn’t’ changing to help them deal with what ‘is’ changing”

Master coach and Thinking Environment teacher Jane Adshead-Grant shared a pretty extreme example of everything changing AND letting go concurrently when she shared that:

“The biggest change was letting go of the corporate certainty and being on the payroll to having to generate my own business, developing my own coaching practice whilst being the mum that I wanted to be”

I often think about the difference between having to secure business based on YOU vs securing business based on enrolling people into a product or 3rd party vision. 

I wonder what comes up for you on reading the above?

Value through Vulnerability podcast boosted by HumansFirst

This week, a wonderful exploration between Heather Hanson-WickmanPerry Timms, #HumansFirst founder Mike Vacanti and myself was released.

We explored beliefs, untethering humans from narrow job specs, practicing vulnerability during the pandemic and so much more.

I really enjoyed Perry sharing that:

“I am seeing the opportunity for people to have their Charles Bradley moment, they have been toiling as a job description and a replicant of everybody else in the workplace, but they have their own spirit, they have their own soul” 

Also in line with the theme of letting go, Heather shared:

What would your human experience look and feel like if you stopped and completely flipped your current belief system?

I have to say, when I do that, generally the world looks a much scarier place, but as you will see below, it is a great exercise to check if your beliefs are serving you and the wider world or holding you back and I have found that by doing this, that there are a couple of areas where I can review and embed new beliefs.

Hit reply and let me know if you feel moved what comes up for you when flipping your beliefs.

An invitation

As I have researched my 35 primary research interviewees, I have asked them to offer one invitation to anyone that may read the transcript of our interview or the book and Hilton left me with this nugget which I believe will be of value to you to read:

“Be comfortable with letting go is the invitation.  Everyone will find their own level of comfort I what that means.  What sacred cow are you prepared to give up to become the person or organisation that you can or should be.

Take an inventory and say is this thing moving me forward or holding me back”

In view of not only the pandemic that we continue to navigate together, but also in recognition of the global awakening as to just how deeply our systemic challenges go, I am curious what you are prepared to let go of?

For me, it involves letting go of:

  • The belief that it is up to government and others to deal with the hard, societal stuff. It needs all of us
  • Keeping quiet within my workplace when poor behaviour / bias occurs
  • Keeping quiet when jokes are made that include unconscious bias about people of colour
  • Letting go of the need to have a fully formed or perfect strategy before engaging in difficult conversations. Leading with empathy and curiosity is enough

Live panel conversations around the inclusion agenda

I had the unique experience, for the first time in my 43 years on the planet, of being the ‘only’ white male on two consecutive panels this past week.

  • Talk About’s showcase of black inventors, experiences & hopes going forward.

    There is some upsetting content contained within but it is really important, inspiring and necessary viewing as we start to heal our singular human race
  • I am more than excited after being introduced to Talk About founder Venandah Madanhi, that she has agreed that we shall become peer/reverse mentors to one another. 
  • Vivian Acquah’s Let’s humanize The Workplace around Diversity & Inclusion

Vivian leads regular live chats on her platform, however, this was a wonderfully wide-ranging and insight-driven chat that I truly believe you would gain value from if interested.

What I learned from these two conversations is that there is SO much that we can all let go of with regard to unhealthy beliefs, micro-aggressions, and the belief that there needs to be a winner and a loser in society at large.

As a final passing reflection, my friend Lara Plaxton shared during our recent interview for the book that:

“The only thing that you can control is how you learn and what you learn from change.  Not setting unrealistic expectations around change is important so you can move forward with a positive outlook.”

Letting go of perfection and unrealistic expectations seem to be a healthy way to end this newsletter today.

We all have work to do, it really is an inside job, but doing it together, in community, can be a helpful way forward.

Be well and safe and I would love to hear what resonates, what you may challenge, or anything else that comes up for you on reading this update.